Like You Own the Place : Attitude Matters

Posted by

Toolbox
YOU are your most important clinical tool

Your attitude and your demeanor greatly impact others’ response to you.

For example:

When you or your kid need to use a restaurant’s bathroom when you’re not a customer,

What do you do?

Do you try to find someone to ask permission?

I don’t.

From Clock Diner, Venice FL
Hangs in Clock Diner, Venice FL

I walk in like I own the place, give the staff friendly nods, a “Hi!” and a smile as I enter, do my business, and leave.

It hasn’t yet failed me since I finally caught on: so often, it’s not about what the answer “should” be.

if you act OK with it, in a friendly gentle way, so do they.

The way you carry yourself, the way you present yourself to others, has tremendous power.

If you project confidence, enthusiasm, friendliness and caring, people notice.

Most of us don’t bother to offer such an appealing package: others notice, they like it, and they respond to it.

Everyone wins. Everyone!

When it comes to other people we make our own weather, by the way we act and speak.

Let me repeat that point, because it’s important:

When it comes to other people we make our own weather, by the way we act and speak.

How’s your interpersonal weather these days?

Could it be better?

You have a choice.

You can complain about the weather, track it, and dress for it, like most people.

Or you can learn – honestly not hard but most people never bother.

You can learn how to make it better.

Better weather, every day, for the rest of your life.

How do you choose?

I’d love to hear from you to discuss these ideas further!

105 comments

  1. Helloha Greg – received notice you’re following The Female Imperative! I really like your style and your energy. You are obviously positive, but more than that, I can really feel from you, just how much you care – you’re present Greg:)) And you’re a nurse (I assume) – how perfect is that? I think you’re a model example of “male human mind,” so I’d like to place you into our blog roll.

    Enjoy the upcoming articles – they’re not always uplifting but they will always be enlightening. Keep the faith Greg. Thanks again!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I’m a nurse, in psych. I mostly work with women, and teach mostly female students. We guys are more common in psych than elsewhere, but we’re still a small minority group. Well treated and recieved, perhaps better than we deserve but we sure do appreciate it. I do, anyway. So I have a practical interest in womens’ issues and ideas, as well as human, ethical interests.

      Like

  2. I find another way to project an attitude that people will relate to is to use their name if at all possible. Name tags work great, or if you happen to be a repeat customer, whatever the case, if you are trying to get a person over to your side on something, using their name will get you close to where you want to be. Thanks for the post, it was another great one.

    Like

  3. This was great to read. People always tell you that attitude matters, but they never tell you which attitude you should strive for! Being kind and confident really makes all the difference when it comes to the people we attract into our lives.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am truly attempting to learn to make it better – so many things. I’ve posted a lot lately on my journey to lessen the stress in my life, set goals/priorities and lessen the amount of time I become ‘unglued’ in life…. it’s all a matter of perspective. How we perceive things. We can come unglued and be negative- or learn how to change that perspective and live in the glorious life we’ve been given. 🙂 It’s hard to do – but VERY POSSIBLE!

    Like

  5. This really is true. My anxiety had me closed off for years. Whenever I would get nervous or anxious, my defense mechanism was to give attitude. Show a tough exterior. Then one day I decided didn’t like feeling angry! It really didn’t help me at all. So instead of tough, I started smiling more and cracking jokes if I felt uncomfortable. Let me tell you, it made a world of a difference! People always comment on how funny I am and how they would never have known I suffer from anxiety, had I not told them. It made me feel happier as well. I have grown more and being friendlier just made my weather nice and bright for me :).

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The old saying “fake it ’till you make it” comes to mind. There is a lot of truth here. Acting like you know what you’re doing is often enough for everyone else to believe it. Also, if you expect the worst you’ll probably find it. If you prepare for the worst but expect the best (or better), you’ll be looking for and then focusing on the more positive aspects of the situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I agree with much of your post and I’ve lived my whole life like that. But and there’s a big but in there… if we didn’t have the nay-sayers and the pessimists in the world… we wouldn’t face any challenges either. We have to be able to see the world as it is and not lose who we are in the midst of alot of negativity. Even if the negativity comes from the realists. Stand strong Optimists. 🙂 BTW.. loved this article

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hello Greg! You are right. As we often say, attitude is everything. I have seen what you say in this post time and again. Others take you as you present yourself. I also take others as they present themselves. I’ll think about this as I go out into the world today.

    Like

  9. “… If you project confidence, enthusiasm, friendliness and caring, people notice …”

    And boy, don’t we notice the reverse, as well. When people let frustration and irritation determine their demeanor, ill attitude can spread like a virus. But so can happy and fun!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This was a very insightful post. Thank you for taking out the time to go through my blog and considering it worthy of your follow. Have a lovely day. I look forward to seeing more posts on here. 💕✌

    Like

  11. Thank you for following me. I was the caregiver for my father in two different nursing homes in two different states. The medical professionals in the first place turned him into a “zombie” with antipsychotic drugs. Toward the end of our journey in the second facility, I concluded: “His well-being was dependent upon the attitude of each person who touched his life. Some wouldn’t care, some would. Some would care more than others” (p. 171 of http://www.amazon.com/Before-Door-Closes-Daughters-Alcoholic/dp/1490808949/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1413828149&sr=8-1&keywords=Judith+Hall+Simon).

    Like

  12. Thank you for following my blog. I love your post, too-plenty of food for thought.
    Einstein once said “I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” I think that is admirable.

    Like

  13. Couldn’t agee with you more! Our attitude is our most powerful tool yet so many take it for granted (or blame others for their own poor attitude). It’s amazing what you can achieve if you go into a situation with good old fashioned manners/politeness and by this I mean acknowledging people rather than ignoring them. Keep smiling!

    Thanks for following my blog!

    Cheers,
    Lilianna

    Like

  14. I agree with you! I don’t like to act like I own anything that’s not mine, but I do believe in being polite. Yes, definitely, your smile, your attitude, your walk, and your talk tell people who you are and what you’re about. People appreciate and respect a person who is calm and pleasant, especially if they are having a rough time. It will make their day better and they, in turn, will often make an effort to return the gesture.

    Like

  15. “Making your own weather” is a good way to describe a positive state of being. I have always known that when I expect good things they tend to happen more often than not. Conversely, when I am on a negative spiral, mostly bad things happen and it is very hard to break out. Making your own weather puts that very succinctly, in a way that most folks can understand with a lot less explanation than what I just said.

    Well said!

    Like

  16. Absolutely carry yourself with confidence. My husband is always reminding me of this because I tend to fade into the background. And I’m completely the person who feels awkward entering a restaurant just to use the bathroom. With kids, though, it happens all the time. Great example, by the way.

    Like

  17. You are right about acting like you’re fine. I started smiling at people when I worked in customer service at JCPenneys. Somehow that smile has attached itself to my face and when I see people I automatically smile at them, even if I’m in a bad mood. They usually smile back and we both feel just a little better. Then I can use their restroom with aplomb. Thank you for following itsmindbloggleing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I read your article, somewhat agreeing because there are people in any community who will allow you to be this positive affirmative self. There is however another sort of person, the one who loves to “rain on your parade” and no matter how hard you try to do something as long as there are too many of this second sort around, it can be a real challange to “make your own weather”, or so I’ve discovered as I grow older.

    The example you give is interesting and I remember those days of being accompanied by my child when I went somewhere and people would smile and doors would open. It really is a time to cherish because most people in our society value childhood and children and mothers. It would be nice if retired seniors and unemployed, down-on-their-luck men and women were so welcomed and valued.

    A young woman said something to me yesterday about how some people liked to put other people into boxes with labels and if you don’t fit certain expectations of what you should be or how you should act then your life can be made difficult for you. She was especially referring to the way she had been treated by the power-brokers who tighten the purse strings when she tries to get help for her small business. It was interesting to hear her say what I had learned through time and experience.

    When I was young there was at least the hope that things might someday improve. For many young people nowadays they live with the reality of an economic situation that is beyond their control. Sure, they can try to keep smiling and pretending that all is right in the universe. But if their every attempt to improve their own situation is met with discouraging words, that is really sad. We are normally social beings, every one of us, and we need people around us who are helpful and encouraging.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. An interesting attitude … but have you ever been to Southland, in New Zealand?
    The people here are something else again—are quite rewrite the book. Generalisations just don’t apply. You need speak the lingo—two magic words to open doors, ‘netball’ and of course ‘rugby’.

    Smile? “What the hell are you smiling about—have I a bug in my teeth?” and if ever you use the word ‘Auckland’ you’re forgiven only if you promptly follow it with a loud hoick and impressive spit. And don’t even think of being British tourist unless you are a tourist scattering money with mad abandonment …

    Normal rules of interaction become Rules Of Engagement. I’d never have thought it possible, an entire province with a major complex. Above all: don’t smile unless you’ve made a schoolboy smutty joke, and then hoot really loud to remove all doubts … and don’t, ever, as in DO NOT, smile at a stranger.

    Like

    1. Smiling, clearly, is to some extent an American is that doesn’t fly everywhere. I’ve heard other stories analogous to yours. I adapt on the fly myself, always accounting for feedback. Some plow ahead regardless. Lots of Owies that way… Thanks for your input, very helpful!

      Like

  20. Hi, I read you clearly. Yes, but I don’t always want/need to package myself as friendly. I’m not always open to other people or want to be and I don’t have to be any more. It’s a great freedom. And, yes, depression is an illness, one hates oneself. I have also seen that particular hatred extend to other people, and become violence.

    Like

  21. Thanks for following my blog! Love this post about attitude! Amazing how far a good attitude can get us in this world! Sad that everyone doesn’t understand that concept.

    Like

  22. Great post! Attitude really matters, and is a result of what we are holding inside, each and every day of our life. Or, as is wisely put – happiness is an inside job!
    All my Love, Gina

    Like

  23. Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill..We can choose it every day we wake up in the morning and that pretty much determines if we are going to have a productive day …Thank you for this awesome post and also following my blog… I have a passion to help people get out of debt and bring value to their lifes…Blessings..Dalil

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Good words. Thanks for following my blog, i’m new to this and through various posts and stories just hope to make someone’s day a little brighter, evoke some fond memories, bring out a smile and chuckle, to get someone thinking.

    Like

  25. absolutely loved this part: “When it comes to other people we make our own weather, by the way we act and speak.” am quite grateful you stopped by my blog as it gave me the opportunity to discover yours! really like what you post and will look forward to reading more!!

    Like

  26. I agree with this completely. As a photographer, I have used this method over the years to get into an untold number of places and events I wasn’t invited. These days, I am actually invited so it’s not quite as much fun anymore! 🙂

    Like

    1. Mantras are a great idea. We can convince ourselves of things if we repeat them, so it certainly pays to choose that content thoughtfully. Too often, we repeat the worst possible ideas without planning it, dragging ourselves downward unintentionally.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. So true Greg we are always the first to offer a smile and a ‘good morning’ and we remember their names! It makes a huge difference if they think you know them and are interested in them.
    Thanks for following. Love, David

    Like

  28. The most important thing is to feel good genuinely from within at all time, it would be reflective and open doors, Your piece is quite revealing.Many thanks for your visit and following.

    Like

  29. People don’t really realize this. Infact, majority think the exact opposite that tough exterior will earn them respect or fear, and hence, get away with stuffs. Its about mannerism and acting in a way as not to seem desperate or too wanting, am i right?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It pays to consider how you come across. I favor not just one persona for all situations, but at least two. At work I set a red line, make it very clear where it is. On one side is the free world, where I’m extremely helpful, positive, forgiving, etc. On the other side I’m tough, flat, calm, and not compromising at all until we find our way back over the line. Then all is forgiven. It’s meant to teach people, so I make it as clear as possible. It works for me.

      Like

  30. Great truth in a memorable statement: “We make our own weather, by the way we act and speak.” Gives me pleasure to think I can spread sunshine wherever I go! (God, please help me be a positive influence in your world.) Thank you, Greg, for the encouragement, and for becoming a follower of my blog. I pray you’ll find the posts meaningful.

    Like

  31. I’m loving this post. Thanks for reminding me of that inner-positivity that we can learn to push out in to the world. It’s almost a case of faking it until making it.

    Thanks
    Mike

    Like

  32. Three cheers for the restroom attitude! Body language counts–especially eye contact, a smile and a nod–as we sashay back to use the facilities without purchasing anything at all. Truth about me: I’m not so good at doing this when I’m in strange surroundings. But might give it a try and see what happens!

    I’m happy to know you’re following my blog. Even though I’m not a nurse or other medical practitioner, I deal with matters of whole person health every day. Especially my own!
    More cheers!
    Elouise

    Like

  33. Thanks for this practical advice about the bathroom. If there is a sign saying “for customers only” I would probably tend to buy something. But I love your approach which of course would apply to so many other situations. Thank you for following my blog too.

    Like

      1. Yep. Presenting ourselves positively is important. The more I think about your post, the more I want to think like: It’s the most natural thing in the world to meet my goals: big ones and small ones. I appreciate you bringing this idea to the forefront.

        Liked by 1 person

  34. Thank you for the reminder that we do indeed control our own inner climate, attitude and reactions to life. I think we sometimes forget this. It it easy to become bogged down by reacting to situations and circumstances in our daily lives. Your post about this topic came at just the right time, when I needed to be reminded that the choice is ours. We all do have the ability to make things better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad! We have somewhat limited control over our inner lives and our own behavior, yet far more than we have over others’ behavior and circumstances. It also takes practice. Faking it until you make does, often enough, offer solid benefits. Well worth it! Thanks for your consideration.

      Like

I love your comments! Please, take a moment & share.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s